i’m married now! life with mike is awesome.

out of school, living in jackson, and working part time as a barista and nanny.

i bake now. who knew?

i used to love the mornings; now my frequent alarm at 4:30am is questioning my affections.

i am so blessed!

part of the appeal of this question is that the answer can change at any given moment.  you can ask the same question over and over again, and get a different answer almost every single time. it’s great.

for example: right now, i would love some coffee and chocolate cake. preferably “lee” cake if i could have my pick. i’d also like a special back pillow, so as to make night-time bloggin’ a bit easier.

but more than anything, at this moment i want Christ. i need his love to pour into my heart with urgency. i see the ways that i need to respond to situations around me, and the only way i can do that well is if Christ’s love is overflowing in me. lavished love and grace is what i need.

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“return, O my soul, to your rest, for the LORD has dealt bountifully with you” [psalm 116:7]

things have been non-stop since i got back to the states from a great summer in africa. the fall semester proved to be full of a number of challenges and blessings that were certainly given to me by a loving and sovereign God. i am thankful to serve the One who owns my life and works all things for my good and his glory.

i’m taking a study break to write a bit. i’m in the middle of my last “fall semester finals week” of my undergraduate degree, and it is only by God’s grace that i have indeed made it this far. it’s hard to believe that in just a few short months i will be rounding the corner and looking head-first at the finish line that i set myself toward 3 1/2 years ago.

these are some things i’ve learned as i’ve been in school. we’ll go semester by semester.

freshman fall semester: i learned a fresh what people really think of “homeschool” kids.

freshman spring semester: i learned that what “seems like a good idea at the time,” more often than not, is in fact, not a good idea.

sophomore fall semester: i relearned the above lesson; i also learned that the Gospel is what life is about.

sophomore spring semester: i learned that i do not need much to live, but i need much of my Savior. i also learned that the Lord’s timing is perfect. i praise the Lord for Mike Evans.

junior fall semester: i learned a lesson in responsibility and how to live a life that reflects that.

junior spring semester: i learned that following in obedience to the Lord can look like foolishness to parents.

and here we are, senior fall semester: i have learned that joy is to be sought above happiness, and that a cookie-cutter answer to people’s question of “how are you?” really accomplishes nothing.

when my parents were packing up our home to move this summer, my mom found all of my journals from middle school and high school and put them in a separate box for me. when i came back from africa, she gave them to me and i read over them. i laughed on numerous occasions because of the things i wrote, and the thoughts behind those words. i really had no idea what was going on. i’m sure that years from now, i’ll look back at the moleskins where my college thoughts were scribbled in and think the very same thing.

the night of the storm crippled me, in a way, for months. i can close my eyes and see the sky swirling while i looked at it through dumplin’s front window. and i can close my eyes yet again and see the tree bending back on itself right before the girls and i made it safely in the bathroom.

the Lord has been good to heal my heart from that night, and i am continually thankful for the way He took care of me then, and continues to take care of me today.

but tonight was hard. the rain we had for the past two weeks didn’t bother me at all, but the bright-white sky tonight made my chest hurt. another reminder that it is Christ who I must cling to, and not the promise of “it’s just a storm, we’ll be fine.”

so here i sit, typing this, listening to the rain on the sidewalk, as the thunder moves its way through the sky above me. i’m safe, not because of this building, but because Christ guards me. He sees fit to keep me alive and keep me safe. i don’t know why He continually does, but His Word makes it clear that He causes ‘all things to work together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose’ (rom. 8:28). my good and His glory. He rightly deserves praise and glory.

rain, pour down. and give glory to the God of creation.

some of my favorite things about public radio have to do with the announcer’s voice. i am convinced that the highest criteria for radio hosting [even more so than the ability to keep people interested] is the voice. and it makes perfect sense, doesn’t it? who would hire someone to speak to people through the radio if the sound of their voice was anything but appealing? it’s just a thought, but every host that i’ve heard on npr stations from here to florida and up the coast to new jersey have voices that i could listen to with no problem.

and that’s why i love This American Life as much as i do. not only does the show itself keep me interested with its clever themes and fascinating collection of stories, the host, ira glass, has a voice that is so enjoyable to listen to. “hey there podcast listeners, ira glass here with quick message before the show starts…” 

voices matter and we recognize them. next time you find yourself in a conversation with someone, i want you to listen to them. and i mean really listen to them. the voice tells a lot about the person. pay attention to what you hear and think about how you sound. not only in your voice, but in your words.

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and check out 90.1 when you feel like switching up what your car speakers put out. also, i strongly encourage you to listen to This American Life. trust me, you won’t be disappointed.

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Morning by morning I wake up to find 
The power and comfort of God’s hand in mine 
Season by season I watch Him, amazed 
In awe of the mystery of His perfect ways 
All I have need of, His hand will provide 
He’s always been faithful to me. 

I can’t remember a trial or a pain 
He did not recycle to bring me gain 
I can’t remember one single regret 
In serving God only, and trusting His hand 
All I have need of, His hand will provide 
He’s always been faithful to me. 

This is my anthem, this is my song 
The theme of the stories I’ve heard for so long 
God has been faithful, He will be again 
His loving compassion, it knows no end 
All I have need of, His hand will provide 
He’s always been faithful, He’s always been faithful 
He’s always been faithful to me.

getting on the plane is going to be bittersweet. i have so much to look forward to about going home and back to school. and at the same time, leaving africa is a huge deal. it took years of praying for the Lord’s timing and waiting for it and now i’m looking at the finish line. i honesty don’t know when i’m coming back to africa (i certainly want to) and it’s a bit sad.

since i’ve been on this side of the world, i’ve had the opportunity to experience three different african countries. the majority of my time was spent in botswana. when i finished my time there, i flew to johanessburg s.a. and mike’s parents and i drove to harare, zimbabwe for a week. zimbabwe has been going through really difficult times in the past, and things are being to normalize, but it’s still incredibly hard for the people there. i was still learning about ministry as i was spending time in zim, and for that i am thankful.

and now i am here in johanessburg, sitting in the News Cafe using their internet. and i’m just thinking about life here and how all of these countries are so different from each other. i was talking with a lady this morning who moved from senegal to joburg last fall and she said “i miss africa.” i can understand her when she says that; i’ve seen in and felt it, too. 

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i really love africa. and i’ll say it plainly: i want to live here. there’s more where that came from.

(Two weeks….)
And we all can feel the calling,
(Two weeks….)
to make the world a little smaller.
And so a girl got on a plane,
for two weeks in Africa.

Johannesburg to Houston,
she came home on a mountain.
But school was starting, things kept moving on.
Before you knew it, seven years had gone.
She found a picture of her,
standing, smiling,
arms around the starving kids.
She swore not to forget,
she swore not to forget…

(Two weeks….)
And we all can feel the calling,
(Two weeks….)
to make the world a little smaller.
And so a girl got on a plane,
for two weeks in Africa.

And if we follow our dear sun
to where the stars are not familiar.
Faces turn to numbers,
numbers fall like manna from the sky.
Why, oh why?
Oh Father, why?
One village in Malawi now has water running pure and clean.
One church alive in Kenya’s full of truth and love and medicine.

We put the walls up, but Jesus keeps them standing.
He doesn’t need us, but He lets us put our hands in.
So we can see, His love is bigger than you and me.

(Two weeks….)
And we all can feel the calling,
(Two weeks….)
to make the world a little smaller.
And so a girl got on a plane,
for two weeks in Africa.

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            Tuesday morning, with a truck bed and trailer loaded with supplies for a week, the Fortenberry’s, Katharine, and I, made the trek to Kang, Botswana. Ninety minutes into the trip, I was told that we were on the Trans-Kalahari Highway—- the bright blue sky was full of cotton-white clouds. Near the middle of the country, Kang is everything I imagined Africa to be.

            Parking the truck and stepping out onto the sand, I looked out at the place that the Lord has made. My heart was quickly burdened for the obvious needs of the people there. I knew that the week ahead was going to be demanding on me, both physically and mentally. I’ve learned that a great deal of perseverance is needed when it comes to discipleship. Effort has to be made on the part of the one who disciples. And I learned that this week.

            Every morning, Mrs. Margaret, Katharine and I were able to spend time with Denise, a nineteen-year-old mother of two, who became a follower of Christ in March. In this culture, a new mother spends several weeks in what is known at botsetsi. This allows for the mother to rest and the child to stay healthy. Denise was such a joy to spend time with this week. I was encouraged by her growing faith, and ask that you would pray for her continued growth. She is the only believer in her family (something that is more common than not here) and has faced a lot of opposition. In spite of it all, God is and has been faithful to draw near to her and she has drawn near to Him.

            On three afternoons this week, we (the ladies) also had the opportunity to have a Bible study with four other women. Three of these women are mothers and have many responsibilities, and it shows on their faces. During our time with them, we studied through the book of James. By the end of the week, God had been faithful to ease some of the barriers that were there. One afternoon, Mrs. Margaret asked if I would share with these women how I came to know the Lord. God is a God who saves, and my need for God was just as great as theirs—even if they can’t relate to life in America. So much of me wished that I could have spent more than just six days with those ladies, but I trust that God’s Word will not return void. He uses obedience regardless of the “time limit.”

            Every evening at 8 o clock, we had prayer time in our house. It was a great time of singing, Scripture reading, and heart-felt prayers to the God who hears the prayers of His people. On two nights, only one Motswana came, but the time was still encouraging. And during one prayer meeting, it was begun by candlelight; the power went out half-way through dinner prep! When the third person came for prayer time, she flipped the switch and the lights were then on.

            On one particular afternoon, I went with Mr. Robert and Jones (who became a Christian in March) to have a Bible study at a home. When we approached the plot, a young man said in Setswana to the friends that he was with that he needed a wife—and he was speaking about me. A wife is by far not the first thing that that man needs. Moving on… we met 2 adults there at the plot- a grandmother and a young lady. They were sitting in the outside kitchen bomma (made of sticks) by the fire; the grandmother had seven children around here. None of them were wearing shoes. Jones taught them out of John 3; and even though he spoke in Setswana, I was encouraged by the boldness in which he spoke. After it was over, Mr. Robert and Jones both explained to me (in English) what the ladies had said in Setswana. I trust that God’s gospel did not fall on deaf ears that afternoon.

            That same afternoon, Katharine and I sat on the porch outside our house and had a brief conversation with Peter. Peter has lived in Kang the majority of his life, and when he was in Form 5 he lost his hearing. He speaks English very well; he would say something to us audibly and we would proceed to answer through paper and ink. Conversing with him took a bit more effort than other conversations normally would, but Katharine and I enjoyed the time with him. The following afternoon, Katharine stayed at the house and typed for him while Mr. Robert led a Bible study for four young men.

            I love children! And every afternoon, without fail, there would be at least ten children in our front yard ready for us to play with them. Seven of them live with Jones, and the other three were all cousins. One of my favorites was this one particular boy (his English name is Patrick) who was roughly 2 years old. The afternoon that we all played Frisbee, he would copy me when I would dance and clap my hands. It was so sweet to see him smile. On Saturday morning when we walked to Denise’s house for one last time together, he was in the front yard and ran up to me and into my arms. My heart melted and my arms did not want to let go of this precious child. I know that children loved to be hugged and spoken to with words of comfort. A few of the children had a hard time understanding my English, but they had no trouble understanding what my smile communicated to them. I want you to pray for the salvation of those little ones. That is the greatest need that they have.

            On Wednesday morning, Mr. Margaret received an SMS (text) from a lady at Lobatse Baptist Church. We learned that Goetsi (Ho-Eat-See) was in the hospital having her baby. I had learned that this was a miracle baby; they had been praying for another children for 15 years. We began to pray for the safe delivery of this baby. On Thursday evening, the baby had yet been born. Friday evening we heard word that the baby was born by C-Section, but was not breathing. They were able to resuscitate the little one, but they were not sure how things were going to be. We prayed hard for the Lord to sustain the life, but ultimately for His perfect will to be done. On Saturday afternoon, when we took a little road trip to see a pet giraffe named George, Katharine asked if he had heard about Goetsi. He told us that he received an SMS from Sasi (her husband) that the baby had not made it through the night; it was a little girl. We had to trust God with this. I don’t understand why that happened, but I will continue to trust that God has this in His hands. I can’t relate to what they must be feeling now, but I ask that you would pray for Goetsi and Sasi during this time. They need their church family (even you) to pray for them.

            Sunday morning, we ate our breakfast, read our Bibles, and prepared the house for church. I have learned this week (and all summer, really) that you’re only late in Africa if you don’t show up. So when ten o clock showed on our watches, and Jones was the only one for church, our hearts don’t fret because we know that they will come. We “started” at 10:20 and by 10:45, 15 of my brothers and sisters in Christ were in our living room. I have loved being a part of church this summer, and Sunday morning in Kang was no different. Psalm 122:1 reads, “I rejoiced with those who said to me, ‘Let us go to the house of the Lord!’” There was rejoicing Sunday morning.

            Everything that Mr. Robert and Mrs. Margaret (as well as the Hands On team that worked with them earlier this year) seek to do in Kang is to make disciples. They are church planters for the IMB, and God placed Kang on their hearts to spend time investing in lives there. They try and spend two weeks there at a time, being intentional to teach and share the gospel with hearts that need hope. I saw this week how heavy-burdened so many of their hearts are. Those who have come to know God and the work that Christ accomplished for them on the cross are seeing hope for their lives in a place that is filled with hopelessness. This earth is comfortless, but Christ will not leave us comfortless. I ask that you would pray for the believers that are in Kang. They need you to pray for them. There are so many things that serve as a discouragement to their faith—especially now since this faith is new. Pray and pray hard.

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            What I learned in Kang is going to affect how I think about a lot of things. For certain it will affect my thoughts on the church and discipleship. God was good to give me this time to be a part of that ministry.

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            This starts in the middle of page 3 on a Word document; I will stop writing and post again in a few days. I look forward to seeing many of you in less than a month!

classes will end on monday. it’s crazy to think that it’s already coming to an end. the regular guidance and counseling teacher is not a believer, and as i have been thinking about the time i’ve had with the students, i’m thankful for the times that i was able to speak of Christ to them. it’s so important that with every subject we taught, the Word had to be what the students really heard. i was asked a lot of “grown up” questions a few class periods ago, and the only things that the students need to remember is what the Bible has to say about those things. i pray that the Truth will take root and be nurtured in their lives.

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six girls came to our Bible study this past wednesday. they wanted to talk about relationships– the whole time. so with every question they asked, the Bible was given as the authority on those things. they don’t need to model the choices of a 21 year old american if they don’t see the need for the Gospel in their relationships. at times i felt like i was too firm with them, but there’s no time for beating around the bush. i hope that they come back.

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this afternoon i’m going on a house call to a lady who just had a baby. she is a member of lobatse baptist church, and a dear friend of mrs. margaret. i am looking forward to this very much. i have learned a lot about botswana culture in relation to relationships, marriage, sex, and family. some of it makes no sense to me, but i guess it would if i was motswana. i am thankful for the times to learn, because it helps me know who the Lord has called me to serve.

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it’s a saturday in africa, and if i had my own plane i would fly to the kalahari dessert for the afternoon. but i don’t have a plane, but it’s still saturday. and with that said, i am going to enjoy the day that the Lord has made.

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sala sentle!